was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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