Porn is love you can see.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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