In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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