Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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