how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize