i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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