First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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