fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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