wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize