I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
