Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
