put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
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