Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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