I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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