Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
