Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
