ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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