he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
be right there i have to get my cape
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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