If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you had me at cake vodka
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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