We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
