There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
