Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
