i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
