I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
