Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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