Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
