You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
