if i can run in heels then i can drive
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
