We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
