I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
