is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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