Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
