We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
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Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
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I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.