MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train