Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again