I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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