Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
