She's JV to your varsity
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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