dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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