Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
