Someone shit on the floor
I am spending my child support on dildos
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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