I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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