I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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