My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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