I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
