Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
