I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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