My first STD was from a foam party
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
