Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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