The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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