FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I think I sprained my soul last night
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
