Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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