rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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