my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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