I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She's not a foreskin expert like you
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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