I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
