I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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