i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have aggressive nipples.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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