THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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